Just a lil Mentally Unstable
by thedevilscherub
Summary: Draco and Harry end up in a psyche ward. And no one knows. And they have no way of escaping, having no wands or means of contacting the wizarding world. Oh...crap. Did I mention they probably should be there for their own good anyways? drugsself harm
1. Chapter 1

A.N- This is a rewrite of one of my first fanfics- I went back and noticed how awful the grammar and stuff was but still love the story so I'm going through and fixing it up- adding bits here and there and hopefully finishing it this time around. This takes place before the half blood prince! (In the summer btw) CONCRIT IS DESIRED!

Also- This is Harry's diary, keep that in mind- he doesnt feel compelled to fill in every detail and gap right away, so this just plunges you right in- I will be going back to explain in future chapters- no worries!

Disclaimer- I dont own these characters they belong to J.K Rowling.

Dear Diary,

Bored… Boring! What a freaking Bore. Oh wait… I'm in a mental institution; guess they weren't made for my amusement, such a shame. And hey, it's a muggle institution at that! Can't say its not my fault I landed myself here, after all, maybe if I hadn't pushed everyone away, maybe if I told them the truth... anddd there's thousands more maybes, millions of what ifs and I'm bloody tired of all of them. But I have to set it straight. I have refused to acknowledge how I got here since well…. I got here. But that story is for another time. If I'm going to be honest, I admit I really do belong here, and of course the Dursleys were over-joyed for an excuse to get rid of me, especially since they _had_ to, no one could argue with that, not even Dumbledore. But I wonder, has he even tried to fight on my behalf? Does anyone even know how I ended up in this hellhole? Oh wait, that's asuming they know I'm here in the first place! Trapped like an animal...and do I even care?

Fucking silence, fucking silent roommate… Ha haha, who would have guessed my roommate would be the one who barely speaks, Malfoy. Yes my dearest diary I'm serious. Oh he's much more "insane" than me, but God forbid anyone know, which is exactly why he's stuck here, in a _muggle_ loony bin. It's also a punishment, you see, he failed his father, couldn't be the good little Malfoy. But I guess that's what happens when you hand your kid around to all your death eater friends. I can't imagine what they did to him, they're so derranged and twisted. In his files it says sexually abused, as well as physically mentally, emotionally, oh just about every kind of abuse they know of. And I don't doubt it for a second. Once in his life he stood up to his father, once in his life he wanted to be a human being, and he paid for the decision. Oh boy did he ever.

He never talks, not that I can blame him. At first, I was bitter and sarcastic, the usual, and I'll give him credit- he tried he really did, but it's just not like that anymore. We soon found out each other's problems- of course not from each other, it's kind of weird how an insane asylum has a gossip system just like Hogwarts…. says something doesn't it, wonder what else they have in common. Yeah, so I'm in here for drug abuse self mutilation severe depression, funny the one thing I'm not in here for, paranoia, ha… that's rich. No, it wasn't the fear of Voldermort or intense training or the death of Cedric or Sirius, or anything you would EXPECT, or at least not any one of those things, but maybe a little of each I guess if I'm going to be honest. I would very much like to say it's not my fault, but it is. It was easier not to deal with the pain then try to get over everything that happened. It was easier to push every one away than to face them. Drugs, well they just made everything disappear and when I couldn't get those, physical pain took my attention from the emotional pain.

But nothing will get fixed here, not for Draco or me. Sure, I have problems and I dealt with them in the wrong way but I can't exactly tell the doctors what's wrong now can I? If only I had someone to talk to, maybe I would if- no, not gonna go there. I actually_ could _talk to Draco, we get along, we have to, hate takes too much energy, there's just too much pain involved. But I wouldn't do that to him, I've always hated the feeling of burdening others. He wakes up at night screaming from nightmares worse than any I have ever had- and that's saying a lot coming from me. And get this, for some reason he trusts me, I don't know why, maybe because I'm the only familiar thing here, maybe because I'm the opposite of darkness- the thing that destroyed him.

The nurses and doctors can't get him to eat, talk, move. I can though, but sometimes I refuse. It's a very interesting little relationship me and dear old Malfoy have formed actually. Anyways, back to those nurses and doctors, they get angry and tell me if I cared about him I would help them. Ha- funny, I refuse sometimes because it's for the best. Somehow, I have no clue how, I just _know_ when trying to get him to talk will only make things worse. Right now he's sleeping- you see, he sleeps whenever he damn well pleases, as if going to "group therapy" or meetings with those psycho babble people is much better anyways. We actually spend most of our time in the room, there's some seriously fucked up people out there. The kinds who see things and throw wild fits, and try to convince you that they're God… I'm not even that bad. Oh, what do you know, Draco's up. He wakes up gracefully, as he if he had been lying there planning just how to do it. I know he doesn't though, dont ask how- I just do. Hey, maybe I have gone crazy… better check (of course I write down all dialogue, some conversations around here welll…we'll call them noteworthy)

"Hey Dray, am I insane?"

He tilts his head to the side and softly says "Yes" Since he's been here he always talks softly, gently, in a way I have never heard before, at least from him. I still don't know why.

"Just making sure" I nod

He stares at me, he wants something … something..hmm. This is a game we play, I try to guess what he wants before he's forced to speak, which he dislikes very much. Another change I dont know the exact cause of. I've never asked and I dont plan on it either. We can have whole conversations with him saying only a few words… it works I swear!

"5:20, 40 minutes until supper" I grin idiotically as if someone has just announced Voldermort has committed suicide. Speaking of which, I _almost_ feel bad, knowing while I'm in here, he could be doing whatever he pleases, fuck I _do_ feel bad. But can't ANYONE else do anything?! They act as if I'm the only one allowed to fight him- GOD, can't they just let me retire early? But still... I feel bad, I am a bad Harry Potter, getting myself locked up for all this being insane crap, how VERY un Harry Potterish. Hm. Oops? (Hey, I doubt they've realized anyways)

Draco's squeezing his eyes shut now, shaking his head from side to side. I have quickly relocated to his bed and am writing this with him in my lap against me shuddering. He's trying to repress the power, let me explain- even without a wand he has this incredible unexplainable power that just well, he cant control it. And we don't need anyone asking questions if people just start dropping dead. He never knows why it comes, or how he got it. He really doesn't care. Fuck, guess I'm not such a multitasker after all….

Okay, its over and now Draco lies curled up next to me sleeping …again. It takes so much out of him to try and repress it. Guess he won't be going to dinner tonight, but I know he doesn't mind. If he had it his way he wouldn't eat at all. I'm slightly annoyed that the doctors insist he sleeps so much because of depression and eats so little because of depression and let me guess is so antisocial because of depression too. They are really close-minded. Then again anything they can come up with will probably never come close to what has really caused him to be locked up in some muggle pysch ward, in god knows where, without much complaint. Hell, he's practically a different person, and if you ever knew Draco Malfoy that's saying a lot.

I guess I'll leave you here for now, even though Ive explained pretty much...nothing. Well this way you have something to look forward to, don't you?

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A.N- hope I left really REALLY wanting to know the backstory.


	2. Chapter 2

A.N- Ok this entry still doesn't reveal much, and yes Draco is horribly OOC but I'll be supporting that later I swear. Chapter after this gives the backstories! Let me know what your thinking. Thanks for those who reviewed! ALso IMPORTANT- Do you want to see any of draco's POV? this would mean deviated from the diary format- (which i was planning on doing a little anyways) so, thoughts?

Disclaimer- down own the characters all right belong to J.K Rowling

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Dear Diary,

There is absolutely nothing to do around here, enough to make a guy go crazy, ha ha. Get it? Well, I guess writing in this stupid diary gives me something to do, but all I'm writing about is doing nothing... so I guess that makes the whole thing irrelevant. And... that made no sense. Anyways... It's times like these when I get to thinking about Hogwarts. Just what I need, huh? I look at the calendar, school starts in just a few days. You see, I got shipped here after my birthday, so everyone got replies thanking them for the gifts they sent. Hence, they believe I'm still at the Dursley's anxiously waiting for school. I wonder, I mean they must have checked in on me or something, right?? Why haven't they come to get me out of here? Maybe someone else got rid of Voldermort so no one really cares what happens to me anymore; I quickly force my thoughts away from that idea. Hermione and Ron wouldn't forget about me especially after all we've been through. Once school starts I'm as good as saved. Let's not think about explaining how I managed to get myself locked up here. I mean, Harry Potter, supposedly uber powerful savior can't even get himself out of a muggle facility? _Or maybe you just dont want to..._ a voice taunts me. Oh no, don't tell me I'm hearing things now... yay for timetochangethesubject!

Earlier, I decided to venture out of the room just out of boredom, there's really no place to go except the day room, and there was really no one in there, save a few people playing cards or just sitting. It makes me think, is this where I'm going to rot away the best years of my life? Maybe I should make an escape plan with Draco, in fact- it could be fun. But... they took our wands when we came here. They said they could be used in a "dangerous manner towards our selves or others" note; this is a _muggle_ place, so they thought that little sticks of wood were harmful. You don't even want to know what other ridiculous things are "harmful" It's shocking how useless wizards are without their wands. Oh, why didn't I look into learning wandless magic sooner? How could I have been so careless? I'm sure I'll never hear the end of this from Snape.

I sighed and began to walk back to my room, when I heard whimpering. It was getting louder and nearing more of a wail. I realized it was coming from our room. I ran the rest of way, but the nurses had beaten me to it. Draco was having another "attack"... I can't figure out this strange power. He gets this weird feeling and then slowly things around him begin to self- destruct. Exploding, shattering, bending, it's scary. He can't control it, he doesn't start it. And I thought I was supposed to be the strange one. Where's my mysterious but very powerful..uhm..power? Well, anyways, back to the story, when I get in the room he's shaking really bad, the nurse turns her head to call for back up. Only, just as she turns her head, part of the wall smashes in as if some one has punched it. She turns and (thankfully) thinks Draco did it while thrashing around. He can't protest, he's too busy trying to avoid hurting someone. Soon more nurses and doctors come in, pushing me to the side. They immediately tranquilize him and strap him to the bed. Now as I write this he has been out for hours. I actually feel bad, I've never been strapped down, and it must be scary. Oh, he's waking up...( I guess I'll admit how relieved I am since I'm the only one likely to read this)

(A few minutes later) Draco woke up, and panicked seeing as he was strapped to a bed. It's not something you get used to. Ever. I quickly got up and went over to him. "Shhh Draco, it's ok, I'm here" I calm him down so he stops struggling. Or maybe he's just realized it's futile. I'm betting on the second, I dont exactly have a naturally calming aura about me or anything, let's be honest. "I don't want it to be like this" he whispers, looking at the wall. "It's gonna get worse" His voice breaks and he stops, I see the tears in his eyes. I don't know how I can take seeing the vulnerability. It's like he's really broken. And I dont think the restraints are what did it. In fact, I dont think I even want to know what did.

No matter how much I hated Draco Malfoy #1 git, I never wanted to see him like this. I never THOUGHT I'd see him like this. He was supposed to become Death Eater so I could keep hating him. Now, he's so vulnerable; it's just a sad thing to see, no matter how much he may have deserved it. By the way, it was easier to forgive him after I learned everything he said in school was just a desperate attempt to please his father. His logic being that maybe if his father was proud of him the endless hours of "playtime" with the Death Eaters would end. But Lucius was never proud of his son, Draco could never do anything to even be looked at as human by his father, no, Draco Malfoy was just a failed son, and a practice thing for his father's friends.

I can't help but admit I'm relieved we managed to develop a somewhat close bond in only a few weeks. Then again, extradorinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures. Or something like that. I think we both soon realized if we were going to survive here we needed to anchor each other. Nonetheless, the first few weeks were interesting, too bad I hadn't been writing back then. I suppose I'll have to go back and write down some things. Oh joy- yet another thing to look forward to! Oh, excitement!

So, back to what I was saying. Sometimes I wonder what all my friends would think if they knew. Would they forgive him? And that leads me to wondering, if they knew where I was what would they think of me? If they knew what I had done, would they still even be able to look at me? This leads to a heavy serving of self-loathing. I wish I had just been stronger, why did I run away from all my problems? I ran from them into drugs and pain, like a coward. I'm no Gryffindor, I don't have bravery. Maybe I should have been put into Slytherin. Hell, I'm not even worthy of my house.

Maybe it doesn't matter because I'll never see it again, well, maybe but... I don't want to get hopeful. Draco looks at me, his eyes are full of defeat. This can't be the Draco I knew and hated for so long. How the hell did we end up like this?

"It's getting worse" he barely whispers, as if he doesn't want to believe it. I think for a moment, it's clear what we have to do. "

"We have to get out of here," I say, more to myself than him. Well, duh captain obvious.(Great, now I'm insulting myself- always a good sign) But how? The doctors aren't going to release either of us anytime soon, Draco's strapped to a bed for fucks sake, and he wont talk and he won't eat. Even if he did, these little "attacks" would keep him here.

The nurse just walked in, I had to hide this. She wanted to know if Draco would be eating. That meant if I was going to feed him, since they weren't going to unstrap him so soon. I said absolutely not. If you haven't noticed, this place isn't too concerned about its patients since they seem to let them diminish away to nothing at will. Anyways, I will not do that to the little dignity he has left. He wouldn't have let me anyways. I have practically become almost like a translator, since Draco won't speak (to them anyways) so they have just started asking me. I wonder, if we get out, will he be like this? I wonder if he'll ever go back to his old ways. I wonder, would I rather have the cocky arrogant bastard, or this quiet broken Draco who relies on me to be his only connection left to reality.

I still haven't found an answer to that.


End file.
